After delivering a funeral at Elland this morning I went into Brighouse to call at the bank and a few shops. I parked on the main shop street, on a 1 hour spot.

Keeping an eye on the time, I managed to get back to my car within the hour… full of bags.

Approaching my car – I press my unlock on the key and my car lights flashed their welcoming flash as the door unlocked. I opened the door and just threw everything in on the front passenger seat.

I then paused – this was not my car. My car has a lovely grey and white interior and this was sh…..y brown and not clean. This car doesn’t have a David to clean it.

I move back and looked – yes my model of car, my colour of car – but no daisies and no private number plate. About 8 cars along was my car. omg

I quickly gathered all my belongings and lept out with them, pressing my lock button. My fob wouldn’t lock the car – it had unlocked it, but wouldn’t lock it. I quickly went to my car and phoned David…….

‘didn’t you know it wasn’t your car, for Goodness sake yours is covered in soddin daisies’

‘no David, I was approaching from the front and they are at the back’,

David’ you have a private number plate’

me ‘ I wasn’t looking at the soddin number plate – my hands were full’.

David ‘was there anything were nicking’.

Beam me up Scottie.